WITH ANDREA CRISP
“When we really start to understand that what we think about others is actually a projection of what we feel about ourselves, then we can switch the mindset, we can shift that, because we can do the work the internal mindset work to root out, why is it that I feel this way.”
About This Episode:
You might be stopping the flow of abundance in your life because of the judgment you have about others. Today on the podcast we're talking about you can start reframing those negative mindsets so you can start allowing the flow of abundance in your life.
If you're ready to elevate your mindset book a FREE 30-minute Strategy Call with Andrea: www.andreacrisp.ca/schedule
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Listen Here:
Your mindset is your greatest asset! But it is also what may be holding you back from taking that next step in your life. Are you ready to reframe your mindset so that you can step more confidently into your purpose?
Andrea Crisp 0:00
Okay, spoiler alert, did you know that you might actually be stopping the flow of abundance and success in your life because of the judgment you have about others. Today on the podcast, we're gonna be talking about what that looks like, how to unpack it, so that you can reframe those mindsets, and start allowing the flow of abundance into your life.
Kate 0:25
You're listening to The Couragecast a show to equip and empower you to live bravely. Each week, we'll share solo episodes and conversations with amazing people who have been willing to face their fear and pursue their purpose, with a blend of practical and spiritual advice will help you take brave steps in your own life. Now, here's your host, mindset and confidence coach, author, and your secret weapon.
Andrea Crisp 0:50
Hello, my friend. Welcome to The Couragecast. My name is Andrea Crisp, I'm your host. It is International Women's Day today. And I have got something that is on my heart that I really want to share with you today. And if you've looked at the title of this podcast today, it's your judgment of others is really about you. Now, when I was writing this, and I was preparing, there were so many thoughts going through my mind about what it is that I wanted to share with you. And it really just is a simple principle that I want to talk to you about today. But I want to start with this, how you view others, is really projection of how you feel about yourself. And that took me a long time to figure that out.
It took me a long time to understand that concept. And it's been something that I have been trying to extract from my own life to extract from my business. Because there were so many judgments that I was placing on other people that really were a projection of how I was viewing myself. And here's a question that I want to ask you today. And it's gonna really probably show you the temperature of where you're at in your life. But what is the immediate reaction to those around you?
When they are successful in their lives and their business? And their relationships? Like, what is your immediate reaction to them? Is it like, oh, I want to, like, text them right away and tell them congratulations. Do you find yourself wanting to send them a DM with like, you know, an emoji? Or is it like, really inside you have this like feeling almost of like jealousy and anger, bitterness, all of these things like welling up within you. And when you see somebody else succeeding, especially another woman, does it make you feel bad about yourself? Like does their success actually trigger something in you? To make you feel bad about yourself? Do you find yourself becoming jealous and angry that you don't have that? Well, one of the ways that we block our success and abundance, both of those things? Well, really, anything good when you think about it, is when we are in judgment of others with what they have their relationships, the money that they are bringing into their business, the friendships or community that they have in their life, all of those things. When we stand in judgment of other people, we're really actually standing in judgment of ourselves. I mean, that's gonna make you feel a little bit better, right? But how do we reverse that? How do we actually move away from that I'm going to talk about that in just a second. But when I was growing up, many of you know if you've been listening to the podcast for any, any length of time that I grew up in the church, and you know, as a little girl, I learned the 10 commandments and one of them that, you know, always stuck, always stood out to me was, Thou shalt not covet which loosely translated means that we shouldn't want what other people have, okay. And it was seen as a sin for me To want what other people had in their lives and I kind of translated that, you know, when you're a kid and you're growing up and you hurt, you hear different things and you're learning different things. Of course, your your subconscious is taking certain directives from that right. So my subconscious was taking that in as, you know, it's bad for me to want what other people have, and I shouldn't have that. And I, I kind of made almost like an agreement that those were things that I would never have. Because I saw those things and felt like oh, well, it's a sin for me To want what they have. So maybe it's bad for me to have that.
And I don't know how you interpret that, or even if you've ever even grown up with that as something in your own life. Butwhen I saw other people being successful, you know, as a kid, as a teenager, I internalize that as this was something that I was never going to have for myself. And I would be internally judgmental, and angry, that they had all of this abundance of success. And I didn't. It only surfaced actually, not that long ago, I only started really understanding this principle. Really, within the past few years, I kind of knew that it was not good, not healthy. But I didn't know what to do about it. Right. I didn't know how to shift it. But I remember myself, saying things like this, and I wasn't like necessarily saying it out loud all the time. Like, these were like, internal mindset that I would have dialogue that I have with myself, but I would say things like, they really don't deserve that. Like, I mean, come on. Can you imagine like, you know, somebody has this amazing success in their life. And I'm like, they really don't deserve that, like, what did they do to get that? Or I would find myself saying things like, Well, what's so special about them? That they get to have that and not me? Like, you know, they're not any better than I am. Or, I said this quite often when it came to being a singer, I'm way better. What do they have that I don't have. And let me tell you, those internal dialogues that I was having with myself, those mindsets, were actually keeping me from having the success and the flow of abundance in my life that I truly desired. Because I was projecting my own insecurity and doubt onto other people, other women specifically. And as I'm recording this episode today, and as I'm talking about this, like it actually feels a bit painful to talk about. And the reason why I think it's so important for me to share this is that when we really start to understand that what we think about others is actually a projection of what we feel about ourselves, then we can switch the mindset, we can shift that, because we can do the work the internal mindset work to root out, why is it that I feel this way? And how can I feel differently. And since our subconscious mind does not know the difference between what we say about ourselves or others, it actually just internalizes it as a command and a directive. It stores that command and directive as an actual truth. So if you're saying they don't really deserve that, it's really like saying, I don't really deserve that. And then you create this whole mindset and block around things that you feel like you don't deserve. So maybe if you're judging somebody on the success of their business and saying, Well, they don't really deserve that, then it's really saying, like, I don't really deserve that success in my business. And when I said things like, what is so special about them, that they get to have that, that really translated in my mind and into my subconscious as what is so special about me, that I, you know, would deserve to have something like that. I was equating that, really, there was nothing really special about me. And I was telling my subconscious that over and over and over again, there's really nothing special about you, Andrea? And that right there like I mean, maybe you're thinking about that and saying, You know what, Andrea? Like I totally resonate with that. That is something that I say about myself or say about others, is that what is so special about them, that they get to have that and I don't they get to have that success. They get to have that relationship they get to have those clients that income level, any of those things Write, it's really about you, and peeling back the layers of feeling. Why do you feel like you don't deserve it? And of course, here's the doozy, like the big one here, I'm way better. Why do they have that? And I don't.
And that projection, for me was really about my insecurity, of, you know, having this gift and talent and yet not being able to use it. And thinking that I was better than other people or needing to be better than other people, in order to get something. Oh, like, Can you even imagine that? Like, sometimes it's like, we think we have to win something or be competitive. In order to deserve to have something, when really, we don't have to do anything at all, to deserve what the universe wants to give us, we just have to, we just have to ask for it and and the universe delivers. Now, this isn't definitely not how I grew up thinking, This has been a huge mindset shift in my own life. And the reason why I'm bringing this up on International Women's Day, of all days is because I believe in order for us to truly elevate and lift each other up, we're going to have to take a good hard look at what we believe to be true about ourselves. How can we actually promote, elevate, amplify other women, when we're not even doing that for ourselves. And that means that we have to really take inventory on what that looks like in our own lives. And when you do this, when you start to do this inner work, you're gonna see a massive shift not only in what you believe to be true about yourself, because that is going to shift you're gonna start to see massive changes in your own mindset. But you're also going to be able to see the beauty and the amazing abilities of other people that surround you and truly congratulate their success. Because you will be so happy, you'll be able to see that because it won't matter if they're having success, because you know that their success is dependent upon how they believe about themselves. Judgment, in insecurity, repelled repels people. And we don't want to be doing that we don't want to be standing in judgment and staying in this place of insecurity in our own lives. Instead, root those things out. And I know for myself that I don't want to be stopping the flow of abundance in my own life, because I'm consumed with what other women, what other people are doing. So I wanted to share that with you today. Because I think it's important, in order to elevate others, we have to learn how to root out those things in our own lives, so that we can believe for all the possibilities in our own lives. If you want to change your self esteem, start seeing others as magnificent people. And that will reinforce your belief in yourself. Friend, if you are in a place in your life, where you're like, you know what, I resonate with this completely, this is something that I need to do. It can be just as simple as really shifting your mindset. If you do not know how to do that, if you're like, that seems like something I have no idea how to do, I would love to help you. Let's set up a call. We'll see if it's a good fit. And if it is, then we can book a session together and I will help you to shift that mindset for yourself. Because you're the really the one who's going to do it. So book a call with me. It's you can go to my website, Andrea crisp.ca forward slash strategy and book a 30 minute call with me and we'll we'll chat we'll see what's going on with you. And how you can start reframing those thoughts you have about yourself so that you can start seeing yourself as magnificent and others as well. Friend, thanks for hanging out with me. Happy International Women's Day. Sending you so much love. And until next time. Remember you have everything you need to live briefly.
Kate 14:55
If you like this episode of The Couragecast, we'd love to hear from you. Leave us a rating and review and while you're there hit subscribe so you never miss an episode original music and production by Steven Crilly.
