WITH ANDREA CRISP
“ I think sometimes we’re overthinking everything, making it way too complex and way too difficult for people to actually get into our world”
About This Episode:
Do you often find yourself hiding or shrinking back from doing what you love the most in the world?
It honestly does not matter how old you are or what stage of life you are in when it comes to being confident.
We need to continually flex that muscle and lean into what may feel hard at times. This week on the podcast we are talking about what is really holding you back from showing up confidently and how you can shift those beliefs for good!
Join The Confidence Accelerator — Doors are open now!
If you're ready to elevate your mindset book a FREE 20-minute Strategy Call with Andrea: www.andreacrisp.ca/schedule
Connect with Andrea on IG: @andreacrispcoach + @the.couragecast
Listen Here:
Your mindset is your greatest asset! But it is also what may be holding you back from taking that next step in your life. Are you ready to reframe your mindset so that you can step more confidently into your purpose?
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Do you often find yourself hiding or shrinking back from doing what you love to do most in the world? You know, it honestly doesn't matter how old we get or what stage of life we find ourselves in. When it comes to stepping out and being confident. We need to continually flex that muscle and lean into what may feel hard at times.
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You're listening to The Couragecast a show to equip and empower you to live bravely. Each week, we'll share solo episodes and conversations with amazing people who have been willing to face their fear and pursue their purpose with a blend of practical and spiritual advice will help you take brave steps in your own life. Now, here's your host, mindset and confidence coach, author, and your secret weapon.
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Hey there, welcome to the courage cast. My name is Andrea crisp, and I am your host. And I am so glad that you are joining me today. It was an amazing long weekend, I hope that you had such a great time celebrating whether you find yourself in Canada, celebrating Canada Day on July 1, or you're in the USA, and you are celebrating Independence Day on July 4. I just love this weekend, it's just a great time to you know, just set things aside and to really spend time with family. But it was also an opportunity for me to launch one of my signature programs, which I am so excited about the confidence accelerator is back and the doors are open. And we are actually going to be kicking off on July 14. And I have been waiting an entire year to bring this program back to you. And I am so excited to share a little bit today about the program but also to share with you about how you might be holding yourself back from showing up confidently in your life and in your business. Now the reason why I say in your life and in your business is because I believe that when you are showing up in your life one way, you are also going to show up in your business that way, and vice versa. So it is interconnected. Everything we do in life and business really impacts the other. And so if you are shrinking back when it comes to relationships in your life, then it's entirely possible that you're shrinking back from really calling in soul aligned clients in your business or people that you want to collaborate with, or just opportunities that feel really good for you. And there are a lot of reasons why we tend to hold ourselves back. And I want to talk about some of those reasons. And why it is so important that we begin to shift our subconscious beliefs around these things. Now, when I first started coaching, this was not the work I did, I actually started working with women on really discovering their purpose. And this was a great place for me to start because I was passionate about helping people really discover what they were lit up by, and helping them move towards it.
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But as I started moving in that direction, and I saw more and more women discover their purpose, I was seeing that so many of them, were not taking action. And they were just kind of allowing their purpose to kind of shrivel up and die, so to speak. And it was really hard to watch. And I started to feel a bit frustrated about it and think, you know, why are so many of these women that I'm coaching, not actually doing the things that they desire. And yet on the flip side, there were so many of my clients who were so I started to take a look at, well, what is actually the difference between the people who do and the people who don't. And this is really where it comes down to confidence. And confidence can encompass many, many different things. But really, it's all about shifting those subconscious beliefs, stories, narratives, things that you have believed to be true about your life. Now I talk a lot about this because I think it is so important. It's the mindset work.
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It's the inner work that will really take you to the next level and that is what we're doing in the competence accelerated are. So not only are we going to take action, and we're going to ignite the purpose and passion in your life, but we're also going to uncover what has been holding you back and shift that mindset. So we're going to first start off by talking about impostor syndrome. Right? Now, if you've been in this industry for any length of time, it is entirely possible that you have bumped up against feeling like a fraud, feeling like you do not belong here, right? Now, I remember when I first started speaking, and I was asked to speak at different events. There were times where I honestly would show up and I think, you know, what, I don't really belong here, like, do they really know who I am, and that I'm not qualified to do this. And there were so many times where I just disqualified myself from even taking the opportunity to speak in front of other people. Because I felt as though I was a fraud and imposter. And it wasn't until I really had this kind of like, come to Jesus moment, so to speak, where I really felt as though if I didn't start speaking on my own platforms and sharing what my message was, then how can I really expect to be asked to speak on other people's stages, podcasts events. So it was up to me to really set the stage for who I wanted to be. And to actually build the table and say, This is where I am. This is my platform, my stage, my table, and I want to invite you into this space. And once I did that, I realized that you know what, I belong here. And I have just as much right? To be here as anyone else.
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So if you're feeling a lot like that, I want to invite you to think about well, where are you sharing your message right now? Is it through your copy? Is it through a podcast, writing a book, maybe it is speaking live on stages, or going to retreats and doing work through that maybe it's actually through some sort of creative process. Maybe it's through coaching, and doing programs, whatever it looks like for you. I want to encourage you to speak up and actually hold space for yourself. Another way that we can really step back when it comes to confidence is the fear of failure. You know, that inevitable thing of like, well, what if right?
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We have so many of those scenarios that go over and over and our minds like, well, what if this happens, or what if that happens, and so often we're actually making all these assumptions in these things that are never actually going to happen. But when we focus on that, and we focus on the possibility of what could go wrong all the time, then we are actually inviting that into our lives. And so I want to encourage you to to kind of take a step back from that. And go ask yourself the question, what if I succeed? What if this becomes really something amazing that people want and love and want to jump into or what if people really want me to speak at their events, or be on their podcast or host an event, whatever it is, whatever it looks like for you start shifting the what ifs from failure to the possibilities. The third thing is the feeling of lack. And that feeling of lack. When we focus on what it is that we don't have? Well, we're going to attract more of that, we're going to attract more of what we don't have. So if we don't have clients, or we don't have money, or we don't have opportunity, and we focus on those things, well, it's probably going to be inevitable that you attract none of those things.
9:09
And so you're just going to find yourself in the same position over and over again. And this is something that I have really struggled with, and just only recently started to realize that I was focusing on the lack of things. And it was a monumental shift in my mindset to really start to focus on what it is that I desire, holding that emotion and really being in that space to hold for what it is that I truly want. Number four would be those feelings of not being enough. And that really stems from insecurity, right? It stems from possibly a subconscious belief somewhere along the way, maybe in childhood, maybe from your family of origin, perhaps even just something in yourself. That makes you
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You really take a look inward and go, You know what, I'm just not good enough, what I do is not good enough, I'll never be important, or I'll never be enough of this. And when we are really, really focusing inward on self in this way, it actually keeps us from really making that transformation, and helping others in their lives. So I want to encourage you to shift that belief, that subconscious belief from feeling like you're not enough to really starting to say, How can I really be a catalyst of transformation in the lives of other people. Now, conversely, to not being enough or feeling like you're not enough, is the feeling of being too much.
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Now, this subconscious belief can often stem from, you know, being told to shop or, you know, you're too much or you need to, you know, calm down or, and there's a lot of people who have big personalities, or they are bold, or they are, you know, always talking extroverted, maybe, you know, they were somebody in the class that was always speaking up for things, and people told them to be quiet. Maybe that's you, maybe you were in a position in your own life where people were like, trying to tell you to dial it down. And it created within you a subconscious belief that whenever you talk, whenever you share, whenever you offer something, people are gonna be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, that is too much. Right. And so every time you feel as though you're doing something, you feel as though you need to pull back. Well, that is a subconscious belief that you can shift and you can really find what it is that you truly can learn from that, and shift that belief in your life, because you're not too much.
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The next one is comparison. Now, it does not matter how successful you get when it comes to comparison, because there's always people that are doing bigger, better, and more amazing things than you are. And that's okay, because it just gives us something to look at, to strive for, and to say, You know what, that's possible when someone else is doing it, that means that I can do it as well. But when you're focusing too much on what somebody else is doing, or whether or not you know, they like you, or whether or not, you know, they want to be part of your world, and you're comparing yourself to like another person in the industry and other speaker and other podcasts or another coach, then you're finding that you're always looking at what they're doing. You're trying to assess, you know, should I do things differently? What if I show up this way, will people like me more. And that really actually moves you out of a place of confidence and into a place really as though you were acting as someone else. And people see right through that, they don't want it. And so I just encourage you stay in your own lane. Don't worry about what other people are doing. And the last one I want, the last one that I want to talk to you today about is really about boundaries, setting these really good parameters for yourself.
13:12
This came up for me today, I was actually asked to host someone on Instagram Live. And I've actually, you know,worked with this individual before. But for some reason, I was feeling as though it wasn't really aligning anymore. And the more I kind of like, felt into that, the more I realized that this person was really crossing some of my boundaries. And I wasn't really being upfront about those boundaries. And I was continually saying yes, even though I was feeling that pressure, I was feeling that it was not congruent with me anymore. I was feeling like it was out of alignment. And it was really draining my energy. Now when we are in a place where we don't have those boundaries, and we can't say no, or we can't say yes to the things we want to do, because we feel as though we have to appease someone or get their approval or validation for some reason. It really just detracts from us showing up as the most confident version of ourselves. So here's what happened in this. In this scenario. I ended up telling the person because they kept changing the time. I said this is the time available, and when they didn't like that time and still wanted a different one even though they needed my help. I said no. And when I said no, there was pushback.
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So I created a boundary and that person then pushed back on my boundary, which then caused me to have to then create or enforce a stronger boundary. And the more I had to enforce that boundary, the more confident I became. Because I started to realize that no is an acceptable answer. And if I say, No, I don't have to have a reason for now. And oftentimes we find ourselves trying to appease everybody else, trying to do the things that they want us to do, or we think they want us to do, because we just want to be seen as someone who has it all together, who is likable, you know, all the things, right.
15:48
But when you have those boundaries, and you set those boundaries for yourself, you are actually stepping into the most confident version of yourself. So maybe you're struggling with any of those things impostor syndrome, fear of failure, feelings of lack not being enough, being too much, maybe you're comparing yourself, or maybe you feel like you don't have any boundaries. I feel like you're saying yes to everything.
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I want to encourage you, that whatever it is, you can identify where that belief originated. And there is something to be learned from that belief. And when you do that, it will shift your belief system around what is possible, and you will really be able to step confidently into who you are becoming in your business and who you're becoming in your life. And in the confidence accelerator, that is one of the first things that we do. So not only are we going to challenge you to take aligned steps of action, and really move forward, but we're going to take the time to really hone in on what is actually holding you back from taking the steps confidently in your life, and in your business. So if this is something that you want to hear more about, I would encourage you to go to the link in my bio, and you can click on the confidence accelerator, and you'll be able to pull up all of the information. We kick off July 14. And so there is still space available for you.
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And I would love to have you be a part of it. And if this is something that you're like, you know, I don't know, maybe this is the right fit, maybe it's not, then I also encourage you to set up a time to chat with me and I would love to talk with you to see if this is the right fit for you. So make sure you go to the show notes. Or you can go to my website. And you can check out the competence accelerator and I would love to talk more about it with you. Friend, thank you so much for being here today. I am so just like so honored that you do the journey with me every single week. And until next time. Remember, you have everything you need to live bravely.
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