WITH FULL NAME
“Rather than seeing what other people are doing better than me and feelings like I am therefore not enough, I instead turn it into a goal because goals make me feel like I’m in control.”
About This Episode:
Have you ever fallen into the trap of comparison only to feel worse about yourself than when you started? In this episode, I'm chatting with Canadian Olympian Paige Lawrence about how she uses comparison and competition to her advantage. You'll learn how this Olympic athlete was able to shift her mindset in a very competitive sport so that she could harness the power of comparison and competition.
Paige Lawrence is a Performance coach for entrepreneurs and elite athletes. She competed in pairs figure skating in the 2014 Olympics, 21 international competitions (medalling at several), and was the 4x Canadian Pairs Bronze Medalist. She is now dedicated to helping elite entrepreneurs and athletes to optimize their performance and achieve new personal bests in their goals while avoiding burnout.
Through her Olympic career, Paige learned firsthand the exact mindset and skillset that is required for experiencing success, however, she also learned how the “high-performance at all costs” mentality can cut a rising career short. She is now passionate about helping others to achieve their high performance in their business, achieve their bold goals, and feel fulfilled without sacrificing their physical and mental health or happiness.
Connect With Paige:
Connect With Andrea:
Transcript
Andrea Crisp 0:00
So often we look at comparison as something that is negative. But what if we started to use it as fuel for us to make momentum in our lives? Today I'm chatting with Paige Lawrence, who's Canadian Olympic pairs figure skater. She's going to talk to us about how she takes comparison and competition and uses it to her advantage,
Paige Lawrence 0:23
rather than seeing other people in what they're doing better than me and feeling like I'm there for not enough. Why instead, turn it into a goal, right? Because goals make me feel like I am in control.
Kate 0:38
You're listening to the courage cast a show to equip and empower women to live bravely. Each week we'll share coaching conversations and stories of women who are willing to face their fear and pursue their purpose. here's your host, life coach, author and your secret weapon.
Andrea Crisp 0:54
Hey there, welcome to The Couragecast. My name is Andrea Crisp, I am your host. And if this is your very first time listening to the podcast, I want to say a huge welcome. I have a fabulous guest on the show. And if you have known me for any length of time, you know how obsessed I am with Canadian figure skaters. Like it's a whole thing. I love our Canadian Olympians. And today, on the show, I am talking to pairs figure skater, Olympic athlete, Paige Lawrence. And Paige and I have actually been in a mastermind together over the past almost six months. And so I have gotten to know her a little bit. But one of the things I was talking to her about which I was so interested in was how she has used competition and comparison to her advantage, which is so counterintuitive to what we normally do. Because we're always taught that we should not compare ourselves to others. But what if you need to what if you need to use it as a fuel to actually give you that forward momentum? So I'm thrilled to talk to Paige today. No, Paige is a performance coach. And she is just about to launch a brand new program. She's going to tell us all about that today here on the courage cast. And I cannot wait for you to get to know Paige Lawrence. Hey, everyone, I am so excited to be back for another episode on the courage cast called the courage creator series. And today I am welcomed by a very special guest. If those of you who are maybe following me, maybe know that yesterday was our Canada Day. And today I'm really excited because we are actually going to be chatting with Paige Lawrence. And Paige is a Canadian Olympian. And I love the Olympics. Those of you who know me, I love figure skating. I don't know if Paige knows that. But Hey. Hi, how are you? Oh, so good. Glad to be here with you. Yes, I'm so glad you're here. I was just telling people I love our Olympians. I love our Olympians. I'm Oh, and Anna says I love Canadian friends. So it's so glad I'm so glad to add I mean I'm literally Yeah, I one of those people like when the Olympics is on. I watched like everything I could possibly watch. I absolutely love to go and watch figure skating shows. I never figure skating myself. I was more of a rap player. But so I'm excited. I need to be on the ice ball. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Why don't you tell people a little bit about your yourself and your journey?
Unknown Speaker 4:02
Yeah, sure, I'd love to. Um, so I grew up in a really small town up in Canada, I started figure skating simply because my parents like wanted me to learn how to skate in a small town. There's not a lot to do in the winter. And I ended up really loving figure skating. And so my parents being the good parents that they were they just kind of continue to look for opportunities before me to get better. Which led me to a coach in a neighboring town about 25 minutes from my house. And I was nine years old, I think when I started working with her, and she was the coach that ended up like taking me to the Olympics like years and years later. So it was really kind of a crazy story because I mean, we we didn't have the resources around us that we typically should have. I started eating chairs when I was 15 which is what I competed in the Olympics and and a pair team from the prairies was very unheard of We had no pairs experience, my coach was watching videos of how to teach pairs and teaching us. It's kind of a crazy startup story. Um, but we really were just a case of being so committed to finding solutions, and finding a way to move forward towards our dreams that in 2014, we qualified and competed at the Olympics in Sochi, Russia, which is pretty awesome. In my books, I think there was a 22nd Olympic Games, my first and the best experience of my entire life. Yeah, I
Andrea Crisp 5:35
can imagine, like I I've heard of what the Olympic villages have is like, but I imagine that with being surrounded by so many other elite athletes, also in your sport, in another sports, there would be like, all of this possibility to compare yourself to what other people are doing other sports, other athletes, and that's what we're going to talk about today is competition and comparison, because usually most people want to steer clear from that, because it's has such a negative connotation. But I'd love to hear your take on like, how has comparison. And competition helped you? So hopefully, hope I want to say that again. How is comparison and competition helped you? Basically?
Paige Lawrence 6:26
Yes, it's a great question. And I love talking about this, because I feel like I have a little bit of a polarizing view on it. Like you said, normally competition comparison, it can kind of bring out our worst, it brings out that self doubt our inner critic, and makes us feel like we're not good enough. And helps us to play small. And as an athlete, I really have to learn how to use comparison and competition as a great thing as a tool in my toolkit, because as competitors, you are literally being compared to the rest of your field, right? That's what the judges are doing. They are comparing you. So I was playing a sport of comparison. And I needed to learn how to make it work for me. And so what I like to do, what I've learned how to do is, rather than seeing other people and what they're doing better than me and feeling like I'm there for not enough way, instead, turn it into a goal, right? Because goals make me feel like I am in control, like I am in charge and like I am making progress towards this thing. So I'm not I'm not a machine, I would feel this comparison kind of pop into my head, like, Oh my gosh, these people are so much better than me. Like, why can't I look as beautiful or graceful as she is? Or why can't I do throw quad Sal, those voices still popped up. But what I did was a quick check in with myself was like, Hey, is that something that I really want to go and do. And if it is great, let's make a plan of action. Like if I want to learn how to do a throw quad sale, which I never did. But if I want to learn how to do that, let's map this out. Let's have a conversation with my coach and my partner, let's talk about how we can make this fuel us to become better, rather than fueling us to feel like we're not good enough. Does that make sense? Yeah.
Andrea Crisp 8:20
Did you know to do that? Or did you learn to do that? Like, how, how did you come upon that?
Paige Lawrence 8:25
I think there's a bit of both. So I wasn't naturally the most talented figure skater. You know, if you had seen me as a nine year old, I was chubby and fell down more than I stood on my feet like I was just like a little bit of a bull in a china shop. So I learned quickly that if I wanted to progress to these, like better levels, I just had to work harder. I had to I had to show up and take everything as an opportunity to learn to be my best. And so I think a little bit of it was that I was surrounded by great athletes in my home skating club that were better than me. And so I was naturally looking forward them to them for ways that I myself could challenge myself to be better. So happened a little bit and neatly. I also think that my amazing coach kind of planted those seeds a little bit herself. She was this like this motivating hungry force that just always believed in the fact that I could be better out to all of her skaters, you know, she was so committed to helping them realize their potential, whatever that may be, that everything was an opportunity for us to learn how to be better. And so I think a lot of that came from how she approached sport as well is that she was constantly just looking at people that were better than us trying to learn from them and trying to help us to get better. And so I do think it was a lot of that learned environment.
Andrea Crisp 9:54
You know, for a long time, I probably fell into the trap of comparison and You know, thinking to myself, like, Oh, you know, I don't want to just compare myself to people and then feel bad about myself. That was a thing. But yeah, more recently, I'm in a mastermind with you, actually, yes. And I'm in this like, container of amazing people, it's like elite athletes, except for elite business owners. And yeah, I have really started to understand that principle of get in the room with people who are better than you more knowledgeable than you, then that really have grown, maybe more than you have at that point. And I want to know, like, cuz you're now a performance coach. So you work with your own clients now. So how do you help them like to raise the bar for themselves, and actually close the gap? So if they get into the room with another, you know, other business owners that are like, maybe further ahead or making more money? Or how do you close the gap and and allow this principle to propel you forward?
Paige Lawrence 11:06
Gosh, there's like, so many things that I want to say about that I have a really great story from the Olympics. I think that changed my perspective about all that. But at the fundamentals. How I help my clients with this is I really believe that like, optimal performance, like you being your best rests on three pillars, one is preparation. Two is execution. Three is ownership. Right? So let's preparation means let's get you a plan set up for success so that you can trust that you're ready. execution, let's make sure that we've like dotted the i's cross the T's, and that your mindset is ready to rock and roll. Right? So you're rolling into these these opportunities, and you are like, trust your abilities. And the third one is ownership. Right? And to me, that means that we built this, this unstoppable force within you this confidence in yourself, not for what you're not, but for who you are. And I think that with my clients, that's one of my favorite pillars is really just helping them to boldly own their own capabilities, and to know that they are enough as they are right now, while also pursuing better, right, being wanting to be better, doesn't mean they're not good enough. You can be a damn awesome powerful force as you are right now, at this, like entry level mastermind with elite business people, and you can want to be better and you can be pushing yourself to do more, learn more, become more. And I think it's this really perfect blend that when you when you get it right. You're unstoppable, which is exciting to see and the clients that I work with.
Andrea Crisp 12:44
Yeah, now of course you have me curious, I need to know the story from that story.
Paige Lawrence 12:53
Well, I think it's an interesting, it was an interesting story. Because again, I can sit here and like, like, tell you about how much I understand this concept. And I practice it and how it's so great and yada yada, yada. But what's interesting is I actually had a moment of like, I'm going to call it weakness or like humaneness, I'll call it at the Olympics was my first night at the Olympic Village. Okay, and we've already established but I'm pretty confident human being I'm pretty outgoing. I love meeting new people. You know, I'd created that like inner foundation of self worth and self belief. At this point, I'm at the Olympics. So it's our first night there, and I'm in the athlete village. And Team Canada has these three apartment buildings and one floor was dedicated to us all just hanging out, right we're there for three weeks. This is the the universal code Team Canada hangout place. So I walk up there and like cash to go meet some people and I sevens the room. I am like smacked in the face with imposter syndrome. Like it just like takes me off my feet. And the next thing you know, I'm like sitting on a couch in a corner, looking around me at all these amazing human beings and thinking to myself, How the heck am I here? Like, I don't belong at the Olympics. I'm Pete Lawrence from Kennedy, Saskatchewan. Like, I grew up watching people on the Olympics. I'm not an Olympian. And so I'm sitting there in the corner being really shy. And I sit there for a while and then I kind of give myself a pep talk. I'm like, hey, Paige, we didn't come here to sit in a corner. Let's just go and go and say hi, go Introduce yourself. Someone. Let's let's have a conversation. So I sit down in this group of people playing cards, I started having a conversation with the guy next to me. And it was great, you know, I realized we have a lot of similarities that he was from a small town originally and and like I don't even remember what the conversation was about to be honest with you. But I remember walking away from it feeling like okay, I found another like minded individual who was probably insecure and feeling self doubt and keep cool. There's other people like me Hear, associating, like me is the like, I don't belong here. Go back to my room and social media wasn't a huge thing back then like think like Facebook was was the cool place to hang out. And so I did spend a lot of time on it. But I hopped on a Facebook and I realized I was tagged in this like BuzzFeed article. So I'm like looking through it. And I see the face of the guy had just been talking to, I'm like, guy, let's do a quick little look at it. Turns out, he was like World Champion speed skater he had meddled in a couple different events at the last Olympics. And I was like, You're such an idiot. Like, how did you not know this guy was so accomplished here, you were talking to him thinking that you were just like him like, oh, Paige, you're an idiot. So the next day, I see him walking around the village, and I kind of I walk up to him and smack them on the shoulder. And I'm like, Oh, my gosh, like, Why didn't you tell me you were so good. I didn't even realize it last night when we were talking. And he looked at me and he's like, well, Paige, we're at the Olympics. We're all pretty good. And it was like this light bulb went off in my brain, which I know sounds silly, cuz everyone's like, Well, yeah, you're at the Olympics page. Of course, you're pretty good. But for me, it was permission. It was this lightbulb moment to give myself permission to be on equal playing field with all of these people. Because guess what, if this Olympic medalist could tell a story that I related to, it meant that we're all just humans, it meant that we all had these humble beginnings, that we were not born superstars. We fell in love with the sport that we love, we worked our butts off. And we made this amazing thing happen. And it was really cool. Because for the rest of my Olympic experience, and to be honest, the rest of my life, I now go into these events, these big meetings, these opportunities. And I try to meet people as humans first, and their titles or present positions, their accomplishments. Second, and it's really cool when you start to do that, because you realize, cool, you've done these amazing things. But I'd love to meet you, Andrea, I'd love to hear your story a little bit about who you are, how you got to this place. And when you meet people as humans first, it's easier to see that comparison as less of a like, you versus me. And wow, what have you accomplished. I love that, like, that's so amazing. And I've done some really cool things also, and this is what I still have left to do in front of me. And so I offer that story, just to say that, like, I can sit here and tell you all about comparison, competition, all that stuff, I still feel the things. I've just learned to work through them really quickly. And in a manner that works for me. Does that make sense?
Andrea Crisp 17:43
Yes, that totally makes sense. And it It evens the playing field in the sense of like, it's just, you know, us getting to know each other on like, more of a soul level. And, you know, and spurring each other on to keep working, keep doing things that were gifted at doing, but not always looking at like, well, this person is doing that, or oh my gosh, this. And I know that, you know, I didn't think as a coach, I would fall into the trap of the same trap I did in like high school in college, like, you know, who knew, you know, I thought, Oh, this is funny, cuz you could be a coach, and you're like, comparing yourself to other coaches. And then the reality of it is is like, you know what, it really doesn't matter what that other person's doing, you know, when you get to know them, and you get to hear their story. And I have now even in myself have gotten to that place where I'll hear what they're doing. And I'll be like, Oh, you know what, I actually have somebody I want to refer you for refer to you. Yeah. Because you work in that area. And that's your sweet spot. And that is exactly what they're looking for. Yeah. And I don't need to have that person come to me. I can, you know, free I give them to you.
Paige Lawrence 19:00
Yeah. I love that. And I think that's, again, you've given yourself permission to own what you're great at, which then opens you up to recognize the other people's greatness, right? And I think that too often the conversation around comparison competition is that it's terrible, like get rid of it from your life. And I would say we're human, it's probably not going anywhere. And so it's rather than trying to get rid of it. Let's just open yourself up to using it to your advantage, right when I feel comparison now, I see it as a moment to recognize the other person is doing something amazing because if I'm comparing myself that means that I am, like envious or jealous or, you know, seeing myself seeing them having something that I want. Great. That's a moment to be like hell, Yes, sister, you're doing something awesome. So I celebrate it. Now I make change that energy to excitement, to joy to giving you a round of applause in my head. And then I simply say, is that something that I want to go after? Because if it is, I know I'll get there. And then sometimes it's actually not something it was just like a gut reaction that I was like, Oh, that's amazing. Like, I actually don't want it for my goal. So I'm just gonna celebrate you and like, put my head back to what what's in front of me? What are my goals are? I've used it to my advantage, right? I've moved through it and we move on with my life comparison is gonna be there. Let's figure out how to work with it.
Andrea Crisp 20:20
Yeah, now you're doing a new initiative with another Olympian, which I find so interesting, because, you know, again, you could easily go, Well, I'm gonna find somebody else in the business world, or, you know, but you're teaming up with another elite athlete. So I love to hear what are you doing? How are you guys moving forward with your new initiative?
Paige Lawrence 20:42
Yeah, so it's actually, we're starting with just kind of like this, this center of what we're wanting to accomplish. And it's an online course right now. It's called the podium performance program. We're actually just about to launch our own Instagram accounts. So like, give us a couple days, but then come give us a give us a follow. And we are excited and committed to helping people to step into what they're truly capable of, by taking back ownership of what you eat, drink and think. As athletes, we learned the two of us, she was an Olympic luge athlete, as an elite figure skater, she's now a holistic nutritionist and Chef, like she makes the best food she's like, so good. Um, but we learned as athletes from a very young age that how you fueled your body, both in food, hydration, and what went on in your brain actually dictated what you were capable of achieving, right. And we we tested and pushed our bodies to the limits to compete at the Olympics. But those three fundamentals were at the core of everything, what we did, what we ate, what we drank, and what we thought. And we realized as entrepreneurs now, that that gets brushed to the side, so quickly, right, like, how often do you see an entrepreneur is like, Oh, my gosh, I had four cups of coffee a day, and a banana and went to bed, like I'm just exhausted, right? And yeah, you expect yourself to do this amazing work. And so we really kind of want to flip the script, we want people to take care of themselves. Because when you are your best, you do your best work. That's what we truly believe. And so we've started this mission to help more people step into their actual potential just by taking ownership and responsibility for themselves. So the course is launching for a second time in September. And we're really excited about it. So people have any questions or want to reach out and talk about that, like, heck, yeah, pop into my DMS. happy to chat about it.
Andrea Crisp 22:40
Yes, no, I'm very excited for you. I think it's such a fun thing to do. And, you know, you're totally right, because I was eating really, really healthy. And then I got a puppy. And I'm pretty sure everything that I have done good for myself went out the window for the past few weeks. If I can just go to the bathroom and sleep. But I it's funny because I you know, I woke up early this morning, and I you know, got a chance to do a little bit yoga before the puppy woke up. And I was like, Oh my gosh, like I'm back to myself. And and, you know, you're right, when you are operating out of this, you know, place of just trying to get by surviving, you're not thriving in the best mode that you could possibly be thriving in. So I love what you're doing. I think that's thanks.
Paige Lawrence 23:32
I mean, it's, it's, it's no one's fault. It's a norm that's been created in our field, right? That like burning candle at both ends, it's normal to put yourself last and your list of priorities and all that stuff. And don't get us wrong, like we understand that shit needs to get done. But we also understand that there's a better way to do it, right? We talk about all these things, like from stalking, to meal planning to just understanding the basics of food, we talk about mindset, self talk, setting goals in a manner that actually works. And so that you can prioritize the things that truly matter, rather than just like being busy. We talked about a lot of things. And hopefully, we're doing it in a way that meets people where they're at and solving problems that they actually have. Because, I mean, I think we've done a good job of it, because we see it, we've lived it and we see a lot of people around us living in a way that they don't need to and so we just want to take you off autopilot and introduce you to the better version of yourself that you're capable of. No, I love that when you're helping other people like you said, you have to help yourself first. And you have to be in your best, you know, performance mode in order to actually help someone else perform.
Andrea Crisp 24:43
I know you've helped me, you know, just even on a call we had a couple weeks ago you inspired me and you kind of gave me a little shove that I needed. You know to get busy on some things that I was excited about which is you know, coaching artists and friends For those of you who know me, I'm a former musician, and it's something that I kind of put on the back burner, but in my Olympian friend has, you know, encouraged me to get out there. And, and I've seen some beautiful clients come my way. So I want to thank you love that, for seeing that potential in me and calling it out. And for, you know, encouraging me and doing the exact thing that you're saying, and encouraging us to do, which is really to, you know, raise ourselves up and not compare not be in competition in the way that, you know, could be detrimental. I mean, it's always great to be competitive in other ways, but not maybe not in this way. So how can people find you? Because we're going to actually have this on the podcast on the courage cast as well. So those people who are listening to the courage cast are going to want to know like, how to actually get in contact with you.
Paige Lawrence 25:55
Yeah. So you can follow me on Instagram at Paige Lawrence coaching. Like I said, in probably one week time, we're launching our new podium performance programs, that's podium dot performance dot program on Instagram. And I see this always on when I'm talking to someone, if you hear something and you want to come over and follow, say hi, as well, like, I love meeting new people. I love connecting, hearing your stories and just like having these conversations. So if you want to follow, come along and follow. And if you want to say hi, I would really, really love that.
Andrea Crisp 26:30
Yeah, please do. And if you guys are listening to the podcast later, please let us know that you listen, take a screenshot tag both of us. And then we'll know because I always love to know, you know, what big takeaways people are having from what you're saying and what you're sharing with us, which was gold to me and was so encouraging to me today to remember that you know what, step into the room, and just be myself and let like kind of like the magic happen and allow myself to kind of lift up to that level. So thank you so much for being here on Instagram Live with me. And I will make sure to post when this is going live on the courage cast. So much, Paige.
Paige Lawrence 27:15
Thank you for having me. Take care everyone, guys. Bye.
Andrea Crisp 27:22
Okay, is anyone else geeking out like I am. I mean, there's no shame, right? I can totally love our Canadian Olympic athletes, even when I can become friends with them. And so I am so grateful to have had Paige on the show today. And just to hear her Olympic story and how she has used that both in her life personally, as well as in her business. And now she is coaching high performing elite athletes and helping them to really get where they need to go. And I think when we think about moving ourselves forward, it is so easy to fall into that trap of you know, I don't want to just look at another person and copy what they're doing. And that's really not the whole point, right? The point is, is that we use comparison as a tool to help us to improve what we are doing our skill set and help us to move along further. And the reality is, is that I can look at Paige and say you know what, she's doing amazing things and compare myself to her and say I want to do those amazing things too. And then make those decisions in my life to move myself forward. A great way to use comparison. So thanks, Paige for being on the show. And thank you for listening. If you have not already connected with me, please do so. You can find me on Instagram at at Andrea Crisp coach. Until next time, remember, you have everything you need to live briefly.
Kate 28:54
If you like this episode of The Couragecast, we'd love to hear from you. Leave us a rating and review and while you're there, hit subscribe so you never miss an episode. Original Music and production by Steven Crilly.
Listen Here:
Your mindset is your greatest asset! But it is also what may be holding you back from taking that next step in your life. Are you ready to reframe your mindset so that you can step more confidently into your purpose?
