Transcript
Andrea Crisp 0:00
It doesn't matter what you've been through in your life. It's never over. No matter what you've had to face, how many times you've lost heart or wanted to call it quits, you can always have a do over. And it's possible to pivot and change directions, to be more yourself and to live spaciously. And I want you to know, my friend, that you can never be disqualified from your purpose, even when it seems everything has come against you.
Kate 0:33
You're listening to the courage cast a show to equip and empower women to live bravely. Each week we'll share coaching conversations and stories of women who are willing to face their fear and pursue their purpose. here's your host, life coach, author and your secret weapon.
Andrea Crisp 0:48
Hello, welcome to the courage cast. My name is Andrea Crisp, I am your host. And I'm so glad that you're here with me today for this solo episode. I am talking about one of my most favorite topics today, which is purpose, unlocking your purpose. really understanding you know how to live in your purpose, even wrote a book about it.
I don't know if you know that. But back in 20 oh, I think it's 2011 or 2012. I wrote 'Designed With Purpose', you can find it on Amazon. And it walks you through how to discover your purpose if that's the place you are in, in your life right now.
So I just want to say welcome to the show. So glad that you're here from wherever you're tuning in to today. Now, this past week, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, this past week, there have been so many things happening in the world. And I feel like okay, so just so you know, if you're listening to this at a different time, we're at the beginning of January, actually middle of January now. 2021. And I feel like we're on the precipice of something new. I spent this past Wednesday, which was January 20, literally glued to the TV watching the US inauguration ceremony. Now I'm Canadian. So you know, but I still love America. I lived there for 14 years.
And in full disclosure, I am so grateful. I'm not going to get all political on you. But I am so grateful for the change that is taking place because I think it is so needed to bring healing an unity. And, you know, I really am liking what's happening with the Biden, Harris administration. But in full disclosure, also, I watched the Trump's get inaugurated four years ago. So like, I just like watching this kind of thing. I like watching things in real time.
But you know, 2021 there's change in the air. There's a lightness sense of real purpose. Like of actual purpose, like we're going somewhere. And by we I mean like the collective we not just the US but like North America, like the collective the world.
We're going in a new direction. And okay, now I just need to talk about this as well, like watching the inauguration. Hello, Michelle Obama, I mean, hello. Her outfit. Oh, my gosh, and the outfits of the Biden grandkids and komla. Like, honestly, like, these are some of my favorite moments of watching these live moments on TV, and even hearing Gaga sing the national anthem as a singer as someone who is a performer, like it was literally my undoing. And I cannot forget Amanda Gorman, the youngest Poet Laureate, I think I'm getting that right. Poet Laureate. I mean, honestly, like, she was so fabulous. But the moment that really got me was when Kamala Harris was sworn in as the first female Vice President, like I was just so happy, elated seeing a woman being elevated to that position. so thrilled for my bipoc friends, because they can finally see themselves in the face of this amazing, incredible leader. Just reminds me that any thing is possible when you think that you're never going to get there when you think that you've been discounted, disqualified. When things just are never going to shift in your life. It's a reminder to me that all hope is not lost.
And that's what we're talking about today. And maybe you've been feeling in your own life. Like there's nothing left for you, you know, with everything that has been happening happening in the world, you have been maybe feeling like your dreams have been put on hold, and you are questioning whether or not you will ever live this purposeful life that everyone else seems to be living and talking about.
And deep down, you know, like you know that you know that you know that you have what it takes to be successful, you have what it takes to just really give your best gifts into the world. Because that's never been an issue for you. Because you've always been able to achieve to perform. But secretly, you may be fearing that your life does not have meaning. And I completely understand that feeling, probably more than you know. And I went through a time in my own life when I had to move back from the US to Canada back in 2007. And I questioned whether or not my dreams had come to a grinding halt and whether things were over for me. And to this day, like to right now 2021 I still remember the feeling of loss when I walked in to the Old Navy store that I was working at, after having been a teacher for eight years. And I knew I was going to have to like spend hours like four hours of a shift folding clothes talking to customers. It was honestly, the worst feeling like I don't want to say anything bad about Old Navy, like either close just to this day. And you know what, but the reality of is, I just didn't want to be working there. Like that is not the dream I had for my life. I'd spent a lot of time in school, getting my undergraduate getting my master's being becoming a teacher, moving away, starting a whole new life. And here I was working in Old Navy, where my parents lived living in their basement. And I had been living like the dream. You know, we have they say that living the dream in Memphis, I had this amazing job, amazing teaching position. And I really loved the school and the kids that I got to work with. My community was awesome.
The people that I did life with my friends, like they were just like people who are like my family. And you know, that feeling of being in your sweet spot? Well, that's exactly how I felt. I was in my sweet spot. Like I had my own apartment, I was beautifully furnished, I was driving this really great car. I mean, like the whole thing. And then all of a sudden, one day, I got a letter from the US government letting me know that my visa my working visa for the school that I was working for, had come to an end.
And I had pretty much done everything I could possibly do to extend it at that point. But it just wasn't going to be renewed, I had six weeks to pack up everything I owned, to sell what I couldn't bring with me back to Canada. And I literally jam packed my car,like to the brim with everything that I knew I would need. And I drove 20 hours from Memphis, Tennessee, to capreol, Ontario, to where my parents had retired. And let me tell you, this sense of loss that I felt, and oh, like just it was I was it was heartbreaking. My dreams of living in the US because I lived there for 14 years, I've come to an end. And here I was in the basement of my parents house. Feeling like a completefailure.
So let me ask you a question. Have you ever felt so powerless to change your situation? because something has happened beyond your control? And it seems like the universe is literally conspiring against you. Maybe it was like me, it was like loss of a job. Like when I had to leave the school I had been teaching for. Or it's the end of a relationship that took you by surprise and completely up ended your world. And I can tell you, I've been there to my friend. Or maybe you've had to deal with an unforeseen health issue that has really been difficult and feels like it's just so overwhelming you and you're like how am I supposed to live a purposeful, meaningful life when all of this is happening? And having any number of those things, especially in combination is hard enough, if not excruciating to navigate and get through especially when you're holding on to a dream. When you have something in mind that You really want to be doing? Do you feel like you're in that position right now?
Well, I want to remind you, friend, we're going to talk about this today, you may have to surrender that dream. Because having that kind of life change feels a lot like pressing reset on life. And if anyone knows what that's like, it's me. Because when I had to move back to Canada, that's exactly how I felt like it was surreal. It was the surreal moment, I felt purposeless, I felt lost.
I felt like all my dreams had come to a halt. But meeting Norma Lily, literally changed that for me, like this woman that I'm going to tell you about today honestly changed my life. And I am so grateful for the influence and impact that she had on me during that time when I needed her most. And I still remember the day I met her, because it just feels like it was yesterday. It was like probably actually around this time of the year in January. And it was really, really cold. It was a beautiful sunny day. And I was going to go and attend a woman's prayer meeting at the church that I had started going to. And I walked into the room and honestly, it felt so crazy because like I literally walked into this room where there were like about three or four ladies who were probably like 30 years older than me. And here was this woman sitting with an autoharp on the chair. I don't know if you know what an autoharp is, but an autoharp is this like, thing that music teachers use? And it's like, you have this little button, it presses the strings and the strum across it if you've ever. Like, if you're my age, you probably totally know what an autoharp is, but if not look it up. You totally need to look up what an autoharp is. So Norma was sitting there with his autoharp on her lap, and she was singing some songs leading these women in this prayer. And Nora was in her 70s. And she was like, fully involved in ministry at the church, especially since the death of her husband and she was recently widowed. But she had this like fiery spirit. And like everywhere she went, she was impacting people she like literally didn't take crap from me. And yet, she was super, super kind. There was times like, I remember, she would invite me over to her house for tea, and we talk and she would share. And she would just really tell me about her life and about the loss that she felt when her husband died, and how she felt like you know what things were over for her. And she was in a space in her life now where she had to completely reinvent who she was in her 70s. And man, I give her so much credit for that.
Now, even after all those years, that she had felt like she had placed all of her value in raising your family, being wife being a mom doing all those things. Now, she was realizing there was so much more for her. She talked about the changes that she had to make in her life and how when her husband passed, like, like she had to take charge and responsibility. She had to adapt with him not being there. And even though she loved him really dearly. And he had been the kind of man who was like doing everything for her he sound like sounded like a really incredible guy. He totally took care of her. But now she was navigating life without him. So here's the thing, you know, at any stage of life, we can find ourselves wondering if there is anything left for us, whether you're in your 70s, whether you're in your 40s, whether we're in your in your 20s, it really doesn't matter.
Because we get these ideas of what life is supposed to look like when things don't turn out the way that we had hoped they would. And it leaves us wondering if we'll ever be purposeful again, or for the very first time. And that's how it felt when I had to start over. And those thoughts of failure consumed me because I was so afraid that I would never land on my feet. And it was really hard for me to see what was possible for myself because I was unwilling to let go of the future that I had pinned all my hopes and dreams on.
But meeting Norma was a lesson in reinventing myself. And it was honestly like a real pivotal moment in my life because meeting her hearing about her life. learning lessons that she had had to implement into her own life helped me see that if she could reinvent yourself, I could reinvent myself that there were more possibilities in front of me if I was only willing to look and at that time when I was Working at Old Navy and feeling like so much lost, like, suspended in time between wondering if I was going to go back to the states or what was going to happen in my life here, she encouraged me to start helping out at the church to volunteer in the youth group.
And after all, I had been a music teacher, a high school music teacher at that. So, you know, that was an easy transition for me. And they needed help with their youth ban. So I thought, you know what, I can totally do that. So when the opportunity to step into the role of youth pastor came, which literally happened two weeks after I started volunteering at the church, Norma was the very first person to cheer me on to encourage me to say, like, Andrew, you can do this, even though I felt like completely unqualified for that role. She reminded me that maybe this time was set aside for me, to stretch myself beyond what I thought was possible. And that's exactly what I did. I took a huge leap of faith in my life. And I went from being a high school music teacher, to becoming a youth pastor, a female youth pastor, a single female youth pastor in my 30s. In a church, my parents hometown.
And even though I did not fit the typical mold, or even have the Bible College certifications, I relied on what I did know, on the experience that I had as an educator, things that I had built my entire career on. And if I'm honest with you, those days were some of the hardest for me, and for many reasons, but for the purpose of this particular episode, I had to constantly readjust my approach, I had to change things, I had to learn new things I had to grow and expand, because it wasn't easy. Like how I had been doing things had to shift and change, as I was shifting and changing, too. But I also started to see how resilient I really was. And that deep down, my purpose had not changed. You know, even though I had been teaching in Memphis, and now I was youth pastoring in Sudbury, Ontario, my purpose had not changed. I was doing the same things that I had always been doing. And I no longer felt like my life didn't hold value or meaning. Because I knew that I was making an impact on those kids in that youth group. And I was making an impact on the leaders. And I believe the same is possible for you. And maybe right now, you might be licking your wounds after a really tough year feeling sorry for yourself, because life really feels unfair. And I get it because sometimes it really does.
And maybe you're seeing what other people are doing. And you're comparing yourself to that. And you feel like you're not going to be able to put yourself out there and realize the dreams that you have for your life. And the worst part about it is that your biggest fear is that your life won't amount to anything.
But the truth is, here's the truth, listen to this, your life is going to be what you make of it. And maybe you're afraid to try something new or to seek out new opportunities because they don't look like what you knew. And that's unfamiliar and uncomfortable. And you feel under qualified. And I get it because I've been there. And when you look at what other people are doing, you're comparing yourself to them.
And you feel even worse, because they seem to be doing it really well. And they have it all together. Or they seem to like you know, that's how we feel when we're looking at other people's lives. Here's the truth, my friend, the people you're looking at right now doing the things really well. They don't have the same skill set or ideas or purpose or capacity or anything as you do. So you're comparing apples to oranges here, their life circumstances and the way that they are living their life. What's happening in their life is completely different to yours, and really not relevant to what you're doing.
So I want to remind you to stop looking at them. But here's the truth, my friend, your purpose, your potential, the possibility for your life is all there. It's all waiting for you to tap into it. If you're willing to take that step to reinvent what your life looks like what your dream looks like.
The purpose stays the same, but it outworks in a completely different way. And it's what Norma taught me in those early days of me being in full time ministry, because I was watching this seven year old woman completely reinvent herself and do something in her life. That was a dream of her But like a new version of the dream, and it taught me so much about the resiliency of the human spirit, and that our purpose never really changes, it's always there, it just takes on different iterations. And that is what I work with my coaching clients on.
First of all, we identify what is keeping you in a performance mindset. Instead of being in a purpose mindset. So we just take a look at how you've attached yourself to something in particular, maybe a dream that you've had. And we see how you can take all of your gifts, your abilities, your skills, your talents, and repurpose them. And the beauty of doing this are really identifying what your unique skill set is, and where you can become more purposefully mindful, you can see that there are possibilities all around you to execute, and to use those giftings. And it doesn't just have to be tied to one particular thing.
And then we reframe all of those possibilities, by making space by creating this environment in your life, for brand new experiences to actually come in to your life, by helping you see that when circumstances change.And you're forced to shift, that you can always be purposeful, you can realign your values to what is happening now in your life. And I've had to do that this year myself, like, you know, this is not something that I just did when I was in ministry, when I was you know, going from high school teacher to a youth pastor.
It's also what I've done as a coach and going from, you know, being a pastor to coaching and having my own business. It's constantly about finding what you're really good at, and how to repurpose that in a new way. And then you're no longer feeling like you're a victim to the circumstances that you're in, whether it's job loss, whether it's heartbreak, whether it's, you know, just feeling like everyone's passing you by, because you know, you have the capacity to reframe any life circumstance.
And then you're able to stand in that truth that life is happening for you, not to you. And then lastly, you're able to take action, and put yourself out there again. And that's exactly where you want to be, to show the world, the true beauty of who you are of what you have to offer, what you're capable of doing. And when things get hard, and they will trust your gut instinct to lead it back to the truth of who you are.
Now, I know that this is, you know, something that's not always the easiest things to do. And I get clients asking me all the time. How do I trust my gut instinct D'Andrea, like how do I do that? The truth is that it's something you need to learn to do. It's developed like anything else. When I've ever been in a pivotal moment in my life where things are shifting and changing. Like when I went to college, or when I moved back from the US to Canada or when I've changed careers completely. I had to trust my gut instinct. And following your instinct may look a lot like this made it look like just getting still and listening. It could be praying, asking Holy Spirit to reveal to you what direction you need to go. Sometimes it looks like a deep knowing or just like this feeling you have or asking the hard questions. digging deep, really asking yourself what it is that you truly desire. Because sometimes, we think we know what we want.
But we don't really know what we want until we sit down. And we ask ourselves, so I don't know what you're facing right now. It could be that you're ready to give up on a dream. Maybe you've been working, pushing, trying to make it happen and just doesn't seem to be moving in the direction you want it to, or even moving at all for that matter. And you're wondering if this is the time to call it quits. While here's the thing, maybe it is. Maybe it is time to call it quits on this particular dream. That doesn't mean that all the dreams are over. You can reinvent and find the new iteration of the dream. Don't count yourself out just because things don't look the way you thought they would look. Because you don't have the success you want.
Because you're, you know, not doing the things that you thought you would be doing. Life has completely shifted. We all know that. And it's time for To say, Okay, how do I realign with my values, my purpose, and reinvent the dream for now, friend, there are possibilities all around you. So make space for those new things, those new relationships, those new endeavors really develop a growth mindset.
You know, I will forever be grateful to Norma for sharing with me that no matter what stage of life you're in, no matter what happens, you can always see the possibility of what is now and you can unlock the power of your purpose in every stage of your life. So I want to leave you with this one question. Are you ready to create that space in your life, to unlock the power of your purpose? Friend, I want to know.
So make sure that you connect with me on Instagram, or Facebook at @andreacrispcoach or @the.couragecast. And let's talk about how you can unlock the power of your purpose. Right now, in your life.
Even if it looks completely different than you thought it would look, things are not over for you, friend, you just have to get a little bit more creative in how to outwork your gifts, your talents, your skills, and align those with what is really important in your life. I want to thank you for joining me. I want to thank you for hanging out with me.
If this is something that you feel like you want to take one step further, and you're like Andrea, like you are hitting the nail on the head here, this is exactly what I need. I want to invite you to jump on a call with me. Whether it's for a free 30 minute strategy session if you're interested in coaching in the future. Or if you just know right now there's something that you need a quick win. Make sure you go to my website www.andreacrisp.ca/schedule and book a session with me. It's time for you to reinvent what is possible for your life. Until next time, remember, you have everything you need to live bravely.
